If only she knew

At first i thought u were there for me. i thought we were meant to be a bf forever... i felt strong around u. u make me realize how to live my life and how to respect for myself. u revived me making all my problems dissapear as though they never existed.

Then, you left
my world began to crumble and dissappear infront of me. my heart was broken into pieces and tears had fallen. everyday i would stand alone. you know, sometimes it hurts being on my own. before, u were always in my heart. now, we're ending apart. i thought that im strong.. but im wrong. im too weak without u. u r like a mother to me.. im ur daughter.. a mother can be independent without her daughter but a daughter cannot be independent without her mother. u support me in everything i do, u cried for me if i have problems, and we share our happiness together.

Now, its too late..
after all that happens, we can't even be like before. its really hurtful me. im not mad at u just bcoz of him.. but i felt dissapointed when u cheated me. i tried to protect our friendships but u destroyed it. and the reason u gave me is bcoz im too kind and u r bad??? omg. nobody perfect dear.. u know that I'll accept u the way u r. ur reason is not relevant.. u knoe, the fact is u left me bcoz u have someone else. how could u do that to me. i know that im the one who ended this friendships.. but u the one who make me do that. i thought we were the music and lyrics of a song so melodic.. but im wrong.

i wish u say 'Dhanie, plz dun leave me. im sorry, i still love our friendships.' but u never say it.
i wish dat u try to call me again. but u only call me twice. how can i anwer ur call when u hurt my heart. i need time.
i wish dat u wish my besday in that year.. i wait for u till the morning.. but ...
i wish u still love me.. but ...
i wish that we never meet, so that i dun felt hurtful like dis.
u knoe wut, i dun want to meet u not bcoz i dun want, but bcoz im afraid that i will cry again. why u started 2 do it if u know that i'll be hurt by u?
dear, till now, u r still the best bestfriends 2 me. no one can replace u.. wut past is past. its alr 3 years since dat day happen. i alr forgive u.. n plz forgive me too. i had changed a lot. its my fault to trust u more than 100%. its my fault to hold u too tight till its hard fer me to let it go. dear, u know who u r.

A song fer u :

Setiap kali aku menoleh ke belakangMencari-cari titik punca keretakanKu sedari tak wajar dipersalahkanDirimu yang kian ketandusan perasaanSesungguhnya yang tersilap diriku sendiriMenaruh harapan padamu terlalu tinggiSangkaku orang memberi kita berbahasaTak terlintas susu disaji dibalas tubaSetiap pengorbanan, setiap pemberianKu lakukan untukmu penuh ketulusanTiada yang diharap selain kejujuranBila diri dikhianati sungguh aku terkilanSememangnya bukan engkau bukan diaPenilaianku dulu dikelabui mataNamun ku temui hikmah di sebalik trajediTeman sejatiku hanyalah Dia yang abadi